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Take Two Receipts and Call Me in the Morning
I've come to the conclusion that drug peddlers are carrying most of the private party rooms around the city. The pharmaceutical companies, and there are quite an array of them out there, have enormous budgets. Enough money to make even the dot-coms look like pikers. These guys are spending big bux, but they are playing for a whole lot more. After all, inclusion of a company's prescription drug on a hospital's formulary is a tap into an aorta-sized pipeline of money. It turns out that over half of the events I work are all about making arrogant, bored medical professionals 'aware' that this-alene or that-acyn is going to answer their health care prayers. Apparently, the pharmaceutical companies feel that if it takes an all-expenses paid weekend for the doctor and his family at a wine country resort to convince him to insist on their brand name over the cheaper generic--so what and why not? The doctors and their staffs must receive an avalanche of invitations per month, but we see the same tired crowd at rival company events as often as once a week--enough to be able to recite their drink preferences and the temps on their spouse's filet. The problem with these parties is that they are ethically marginal. Don't take my word for it. The Federal Court system seems to think so too. The courts decided (the drug reps have often told me over their obligatory glass of white) that spending anything over $80 per attendee is considered to be shaking hands with the 'B' word. You know--bribery. The simple truth is that the primary topic amongst many drug reps between tuna tartare and chocolate torte is governmental restrictions and how to dance around them. I have seen all manner of scams large and small to circumvent that pesky 'dollars per head' guideline. I first noticed this trend several years ago. I found I was being asked by drug reps to 'help out' with the bookkeeping at events. At first it was tentative. "Could you give me a blank second receipt?" or "How 'bout a couple extra receipts for my records?" Then it was "Would you mind bumping the customer count on the check?" Finally, "Could you run two checks?" I have worked events booked at $150 per head (plus the wine and liquor--pushed it a lot closer to $200) which were only the prelude to an evening on the town, or a lay over meal on the way to a weekend in Hawaii. I have graciously helped hosts pass out orchestra and box seat tickets to 'Rent', 'Phantom', 'Les Miz' and the World Series during dessert and then dutifully herded these jaded Docs and families towards their waiting coaches. I have brought the wine list to the hosts after the guests have gone, but before the bill was presented, along with a trash bag so that he or she might stock their personal cellars with a few choice items. Ho-hum. Biz as usual. The problem here isn't that too much power, money and greed will breed this behavior. We knew that, and the pharmaceutical companies don't have a lock on that anyway. No, the nasty little secret is that the houses need this sleazy business. And we all kow-tow along with a smile for the chance to get our prescriptions filled. --Gary Epting |
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